The above (tragic) photo is of me ripping back some dodgy cable on the wrist warmer twin. It was supposed to look like the other one (see below), but I have defied all previous evidence that ladies can multi-task.
I attempted to knit the other warmer whilst also ‘bitchin’ at my Stitch ‘n Bitch group. Clearly a big mistake. My cable was all over the place, I kept having to count my stitches over and over again. Either I have grown a man brain over night ,and can thus only do one thing at a time, or I have to accept that decrepitude has set in.
With this in mind, I have devised a few rules for myself for my Stitch ‘n Bitch outings:
1. Don’t attempt anything more complicated that garter stitch.
2. Leave patterns at home, unless to be used as a handy coaster.
3. Leave the G&T alone…nobody likes to see a staggering mother armed with knitting needles at the school gate at 3pm.
4. Only bring projects that require chunky yarn and giant needles. This will disguise the disproportionate amount of ‘bitchin’ compared to ‘stitchin’.
With this in mind, I have flouted my own rule number 1 and am attempting a super-chunky lap blanket in basket weave. Those readers, who haven’t already clicked away, may recall a long-abandoned scarf I was going to knit, but only managed one square:
This is the basis of my new ‘off-piste’ blanket. Below is what I managed on Friday, in between cackling at the previous night’s memories of disgraceful antics at the school-mums-on-the-razzle-Christmas-party and sipping a latte:
Lots of little squares are the way to go, I think. Knit, knit, sip, sip, natter, natter.