Kindle Publishing Despair & Other Excuses Why I Can’t Knit

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Here they are, as a pair. Not actually finished of course, but united nonetheless. The mere thought of actually putting them on my feet make we want to self-combust with excess heat (there is a heatwave here at the mo), but one thing you can be sure of in the UK – the miserable, cold, damp weather is never far away! For now though, glorious sunny August is stretching ahead and I have come to terms with my summer holiday sentence. I shall take it like a man (although not my man of course, hiding in his air-conditioned office far far away from the front line). Clenched jaw, stiff upper lip and no negotiating. I shall be fine.

On a more ‘on topic’ note, I’ve knitted one sole for one of the boots. Cunningly I fluffed the instructions, but it has all worked out okay in the end. Instead of rib I’ve got moss stitch, which gives the sole a toughened look. Good for my chilly floorboards. No idea how to sew them on yet, but I shall cross that bridge when I come to it.

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My list of excuses as to my lack of productivity is not pretty. It hasn’t involved fun or gallivanting of any kind. Behold my list of excuses for my pathetic churn-out rate (shamed of course, by LouBug’s inhuman knitting output – more of that to come). Is there anything more tedious than reading about why someone can’t find the time to knit, on an actual knitting blog? Discuss amongst yourselves and answers on a postcard please.

Pathetic Excuse Number 1:

Labels

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In my efforts to be organised and keep the Tedious Job List to a minimum over the summer holidays, I have started the loooooong task of labelling school clothing. Not just any old labelling, of course, but hand sewn name labels. Is there anything more boring? Eight pairs of trousers, four pairs of shorts, 4000 t-shirts, a million jumpers, bags, sports kits…I could go on, but I fear I may lose the will to live. I’ve barely made a dent in the pile, and it has already taken precious hours away from more exciting things in my life…or even the less exciting things. I feel like I’ve suddenly gained employment in a sweat shop.

Pathetic Excuse Number 2:

E-Book

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Otherwise known as “vanity publishing”, LouBug and I have been exploring the idea of self-publishing volume I of our blog on Kindle. Easy? Sadly no. Well, easy up until the point of filling in a terrifying document for the United States Tax Man. But I’m English! I know my rights! Turns out Amazon don’t care and want all of your personal details to ship off to the IRS. All a bit weird for me, so I’ve (half) given up. All of this research and fretting has sucked away hours and hours of my life, and turned out to be a depressing interlude between sewing on bl**dy labels!

Has anyone ever had success at this? Someone tell me it isn’t as sinister as it first appears?!

Pathetic Excuse Number 3:

End-Of-Term Thousand Yard Stare

Sports day, summer shows, curriculum evenings, new starters meetings (all four of them) – I could go on. It has taken its toll. It has (almost) made me look forward to the end of term…

KnitWit

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Christine
    Jul 22, 2014 @ 22:59:04

    Oh dear. Sounds as though you’re having a bit of a time of it. Forget sewing in the name labels. They get ignored. Use a non-washable felt-tip pen and write the name on any available space (label, inside of waistband, etc). Or buy iron-on labels in quantity (if you’ve more than one child, just get them printed with your surname and write on the initial). Yes, they peel off, but ironing in a new one is much quicker than sewing in just one of the bloody things.

    Reply

  2. KnitWit
    Jul 31, 2014 @ 09:05:18

    Good advice – wish I’d just got labels with the surname then I wouldn’t be in this situation!! One size fits all then. We all had strict instructions at the parent’s evening that felt-tip pens just doesn’t cut it, sew on only. Boo hoo. Oblivious dads, inward groan from the mums!

    Reply

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